Our doggie’s name is Shadow
He goes wherever we go
So there’s no place we can get away from him
Except for in the basement
He won’t go in the basement
So his love’s deep, but not subterranean
He wondered lost along some big highway
We rescued him and brought him home to stay
So our doggie he has issues
Abandonment issues
He can’t stay more than two feet away
If I go in the kitchen
He stares out with these sad eyes
That say I feel again like I’m a stray
‘Cause he wandered lost along some big highway
We rescued him and brought him home to stay
But our dog has shedding issues
Real big shedding issues
We just build a chair out of his hair
But his big shedding issues are really our own issues
Because that dog just doesn’t seem to care
We guess we’re co-dependent with our pet
He knows it and he takes all he can get
But we surely love him from his head down to his paws
That’s why we keep buying him toys that he can carry in his jaws
But our doggie he has issues
He’s got boundary issues
He thinks that he owns our big old couch
When I try to move, it’s very hard to move him
Without thinking I’m some mean old grouch
We are only tryin’ to show him who is boss
He looks like we just nailed him to a cross
Though he’s not an alpha dog who can keep wolves at bay
If he’s looking sad enough he know he can always get his way
Our doggie his has issues
He’s got gender issues
When he pees he squats just like a girl
He doesn’t fight or growl and he hangs out with stuffed dolls
His favorite is a fuzzy flying squirrel
So…he’s a male who’s non-traditional
Could be ‘cause he has no genitals
Shadow we don’t give a damn
‘bout your testosterone
All we really care about is the love
That you have always shown
At three in the morn
I shuffle and yawn
Down a dark hall to the lew
At 4 am
I'm back again
I got them big prostate blues
I got a doc
With fingers like rocks
but such a sweet attitude
He sticks in his fist
and says "can't find no cysts"
Still got them
big prostate blues
Elimination's no fun
If every time you go
You're not sure if you're done
Hey HMO
Look out below
We're all depending on you
When those boomers start sprouting tumors
You'll have those big prostate blues too.